


Not Alone, Right Beside You

by EveryDay_ALittleMore



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: All ships sail away from here, As a Little, Bed-Wetting, Clingy, Coming Out, Coping Mechanisms, Embarrassed Steve McGarrett, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Headspace, Hurt/Comfort, Infantilism, Insecure Steve, No Sex, No Smut, Non-Sexual Age Play, Protective Danny, Sharing a Bed, Sickfic, Slow Build, Steve McGarrett Has Issues, Steve McGarrett Needs a Hug, Stubborn Steve, Supportive Danny, Thumb-sucking, may add more tags idk, to caregiver/little
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-26 12:00:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EveryDay_ALittleMore/pseuds/EveryDay_ALittleMore
Summary: Well, I think I sum it up pretty well in the tags. This is a NSAP story so--heads up. Don't like, don't read.
Relationships: Steve McGarrett & Danny "Danno" Williams
Comments: 23
Kudos: 37





	1. Chapter 1

The first time Steve became aware of his headspace was when his mother died.  


Maybe it also had something to do with his father closing himself off from his two kids, maybe Steve had always been like that and his mother’s death had just been the tipping point. Whatever the reason, Steve had quickly learned that a teenage boy craving hugs and cuddles with a blankie and a habit of sucking his thumb was not good. At all. His father had made sure that he’d understood that before burning his faded yellow blankie and the few dog-eared baby books Steve had had, having caught Steve with a couple of coloring books, thumb hooked in his mouth.  


Shortly after the—incident—Steve and Mary were sent to the mainland. It wasn’t much of a leap to figure out one of the reasons was that he was ashamed of his freak of a son.  


After that, Steve had made sure to curb all his longings for anything remotely babyish. The rigors of the Navy luckily had made that easy.  


Until Catherine, that is.  


One time after a particularly grueling op, Steve found his headspace particularly strong and slipped.  


They were in bed, both exhausted and just wanting sleep—and he had sucked his thumb. Like a goddamn child!  


He’d woken up to her staring at him, confused, and for a moment he hadn’t even realized what he’d done.  


Thank god it was only in front of Catherine, but even that was enough for Steve to scramble out of bed and hightail it away.  


But to his surprise and everlasting gratitude, she didn’t talk about what had happened to anyone. No, instead she’d asked him a few questions about his—habit—and then told him that if he ever just needed to wind down, she’d make sure no one ever found out about it.  


He’d never opened up to her all the way, but he did take her up on her offer a few times, their friends with benefits changing into just friends, and Steve found he didn’t mind.  


Steve had never realized just how much he’d missed just—just being himself, all of himself. He felt lighter.  


But then his dad died and he’d gone back to Hawaii and then Five-0 had been created, and he didn’t have the brief visits from Catherine anymore. He had more of a handle on his headspace then he’d had before, though, so he’d managed.  


And then North Korea happened.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am on a ROLL! Chap 2 up :)

Tied up and trying to keep a grip on his headspace, Steve almost didn’t even register the gunfire that suddenly broke out, the vehicle grinding to a halt as screams and shouts rent through the air. 

Blinking away sweat—or blood, not that it made much difference at this point, he thought dimly—Steve squeezed his eyes shut and clenched his hands, desperately fighting against a headspace that had been fighting to get out for days— 

He heard the canvas flap closing the back of the van whip open, glaring sunlight making him squint over and see a familiar stocky silhouette. 

“Danny?” He questioned in shock, voice raspy. 

“I got Steve!” The blond detective shouted over his shoulder. Hoisting himself into the back of the van he crouched down by Steve, one hand going to the other man’s bound wrists. 

“Danny? What—?” Danny couldn’t be here—he was supposed to be safe in Hawaii not here—suddenly feeling a strong need to make sure that he wasn’t hallucinating, Steve yanked against his restraints, intense eyes locked on Danny. 

“Neanderthal—that’s what you are, you know that, right?” Danny muttered as he swung his rifle onto his back, both hands fiddling with Steve’s cuffs. “Can’t leave you for five minutes without you getting into trouble of mind-blowing proportions—mind-blowing, Steven.” 

Letting Danny’s Jersey accent wash over him, knowing that if Danny had time to rant then they weren’t too bad off, tension started to bleed out of his shoulders. Steve wasn’t exactly sure of when or how Danny got him loose but the moment his hands could move he was gripping onto Danny’s vest as if he thought the other man was going to vanish at any second. 

“Danny.” Blinking back sudden wetness in his eyes, Steve suddenly stiffened as he realized just how close he was to his headspace. Part of him just wanted to grab onto the short detective and never let go because he was safe, Danny meant safety—but the other part of him that was still fighting against the other part knew that he couldn’t do that, he couldn’t— 

Before he could let go of Danny and hopefully blame any/all of his actions on his recent captivity and subsequent torture, Steve suddenly stilled as he felt warm, sturdy arms wrap around him. 

To not respond to the hug was one fight Steve was only too happy to lose, his own arms winding around Danny’s waist and his head tilting forward to rest on the shorter man’s shoulder. 

“Animal.” Danny muttered fondly, one hand briefly cradling the back of Steve’s head. Steve melted into the touch, a faint sigh escaping his lips. “I hope you know that I’m totally going to chip you like a wayward puppy now.” 

“Then we’ll both have one.” Steve, who just barely managed to keep from slipping completely under, deadpanned as they released each other—one with more reluctance than he’d care to mention. 

Danny’s eyes narrowed and his mouth started to open, Steve practically able to see the snark coming, when the canvas flap whipped open again, Danny automatically training his rifle on it before relaxing. 

“Jesus, freakin’ ninjas—a little warning, huh? We need to get him out of here now.” 

Danny started to get up to let Chin and Joe help him with Steve when he paused. 

“Hey, Steve, wanna let me go.” He asked quietly as Chin and Joe climbed into the back. 

Steve blinked wearily at him and then realized with mortification that he’d grabbed hold of Danny’s vest again. 

He should let go. 

He was a grown man, he’d been through worse—just let go. 

… 

Breathing speeding up, instead of letting go, Steve found himself clutching tighter to Danny, suddenly rendered mute with the very thought of Danny leaving. He couldn’t leave, then Steve’d be by himselfandheneededDanny— 

“Whoa whoa whoa, hey, it’s okay, I’m not going anywhere.” Danny’s forehead crinkled as he looked at him in concern, blue eyes roving over him. 

Steve relaxed slightly as Danny crouched awkwardly next to him, proof of his intent to stay, his leg with his bad knee stretched out a little. 

Ignoring the glance Danny gave the other two men, Steve focused once more on not letting his headspace out to play. Any more, at least, he thought bitterly, wondering how much damage control he’d have to do to not be laughed out of existence once he was out of this. 

“Can you walk, Steve?” 

Not trusting himself to speak, Steve just nodded. 

“Okay. Okay, that’s good. So here’s what’s gonna happen, Chin is going to grab your other side and I’ll help you with this side and we’ll get out of here, how’s that sound? Good?” 

“Yeah.” Steve swallowed, still feeling traces of shame as he regained a tenuous control over himself. “Yeah, let’s do it.” 

Danny gave his shoulder a reassuring pat. “Okay, you heard the man, let’s do this.” 

A few grunts and winces later, Steve found himself outside of the van and then was only half aware of a trek through a jungle before he was helped into a helicopter and Chin was talking about his wedding, Steve’s back propped up next to Danny’s legs—one of the detective’s hands resting protectively on his shoulder. 

Unable able to resist shifting a little closer, Steve let himself relax with Danny’s presence beside him, eyes slipping close… 

“Steve—Steve—“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, I hope it met everybody's expectations--con-crit welcome :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh-kay. So, I've been working on this and it looks like the next three or four chapters are gonna be a little on the small side but then the chapters gain a little weight so be prepared for a sudden shift in chapter size later on :)  
> Anyway, little note aside (no pun intended), good reading!  
> I hope :)

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Feeling the familiar weight in his limbs from being drugged and smelling the sterile smell of a medical ward, Steve slowly blinked open his eyes.

His body still hurt, aches and pains littered across what felt like his entire body, but it had been lessened dramatically and he found himself grateful for the respite—though as he shifted he did feel several areas pull on what felt like a very high number of stitches—

“Hey.”

Twisting his head towards the sound of the voice, Steve couldn’t stop the involuntary movement of his hand which reached for Danny, who was sitting in a lone chair by his bedside, pathetically.

Catching the movement, hopefully before Danny saw it, Steve curled his hands into fists and gave Danny a tiny smile.

“Hey.”

Frowning a bit, Danny—who was not blind, thank you so very much Mr. Super SEAL—reached out and held onto Steve’s hand. Why the animal thought he couldn’t have any comfort was beyond him, but Danny wasn’t going to let that stop him.

The way Steve stiffened and then seemed to go through some internal debate before his hand opened and he clutched carefully onto Danny’s hand didn’t go unnoticed by the detective either. Neither did the way the SEAL seemed to get more and more relaxed as Danny made several extremely valid and perhaps louder than necessary points as to why he, Steven J. McGarrett should never go all commando on his team again. Ever.

By the end of Danny’s speech—no, not rant—Steve was hardly able to keep his eyes open, his hand still firmly attached to Danny’s, which had made his usual handwaving more muted than usual.

Sighing, Danny shifted in his chair.

“Danno!” Steve’s eyes snapped open, hand tightening over Danny’s, fear evident in the hazel eyes.

“Easy, buddy, I’m not going anywhere, just getting a little more comfortable, okay?” Danny rubbed a thumb across Steve’s knuckles and shifted again, demonstrating how he was settling down for the long haul, not just going to abandon his best friend in a hospital bed—who would do that? Especially with that look on his face…Damnit! Danny wanted to beat someone’s face in for what happened to Steve, he should never have that look on his face. “Not going anywhere, Steve.”

Steve seemed to relax and suddenly stiffen, his hand pulling out of Danny’s and his face suddenly inscrutable. “Yeah, well. Thanks, Danny.” He murmured, looking away and pulling his blanket higher.

Danny frowned. “Steve—“

“I’m tired.” Steve whispered, closing his eyes.

He felt a warm hand rub his shoulder and then leave, and it took all his self control not to reach for Danny again.

“Okay. I’ll be here when you wake up, though.” Danny said softly, the creak of the plastic hospital chair accompanying his voice.

Steve’s heart sunk even as he felt warmth spread out in him. He couldn’t let Danny stay—if he did, especially in the condition Steve was in now, he couldn’t guarantee that his headspace would be able to be contained.

Danny couldn’t stay.

Biting his cheek to prevent a whimper escaping, Steve turned his head away from Danny and attempted to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to tell me what you think about the story so far--and don't worry about Steve, he's going to get all the TLC he needs before this story is through ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things are picking up now :)

The next day, despite his best efforts in trying to convince Danny to go home, Steve found himself on edge all day as his best friend stayed determinedly in the chair by his bedside. The morning after that, he had better luck and finally sent Danny on his way and was able to sleep in peace. Or relative peace anyway. And maybe he didn’t sleep as well as he’d like. But he slept enough.

He received calls from the team daily and that helped with the strange feeling of loneliness that had grabbed hold of him.

Before he knew it, he was out of the hospital and back to work, careful to avoid too much contact with Danny because even though he’d thought his headspace would return to normal once he was out of danger and in a more safe environment, he still felt it on the edge of his mind threatening to come to the forefront—especially with Danny. So even though it made his chest ache, he avoided going out for beers, making up excuses not to spend any more time with Danny than necessary.

Despite his best efforts to appear casual, Kono and Chin had picked up his sudden need to be anywhere Danny wasn’t, and Danny himself had tried to talk to him several times only for Steve to rebuff him and flee before Danny could dig any deeper. The constant lying and lack of best friend were taking their toll on Steve and maybe that’s why, after he’d been cleared for field duty for only three weeks, that he contracted a cold/flu hybrid from hell.

He’d woken up with his head spinning and his sheets drenched in sweat—and he’d known instantly that he wasn’t going to be able to work, his hand fumbling for his phone to try and call Danny.

Shaking fingers knocked his phone from the table and onto the floor.

Stretching out a hand, practically half out of bed, Steve’s whole body shuddered and he suddenly found himself joining his phone on the floor, blankets tangled around him, his fingers weakly scrabbling at his phone before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell unconscious.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Steve. But as everyone knows, we must whump the ones we love ;)


End file.
